No one knows this, but sometimes I think that there's two people inside of me. Both named Maddie, except one's slightly different than the other. The funny thing is they switch on and off at different times. But it's always consistent. Like, everyday pretty much.
First, there is my girl. She is called my "Girl" because I believe she is the real me. She is blissfully naive and lives for for freedom. Freedom from all her cares. My girl is always happy all the time, no matter what. And even in times of desperation, she holds her head up high and thinks positive thoughts. She is often shy, but once she is spoken to, there is no turning back!
The other half of me is my woman. She is called my "Woman" because I also believe she is the real me. She is a deep thinker, A focused, content, strong person. She is incredibly generous and she never holds back. She never complains and has a high threshold for pain and suffering because she's been there before. My woman is mature. She knows EXACTLY what she wants. My woman speaks her mind, no matter what the content, and absolutely under no circumstances does she care what other people think about her.
My woman and my girl are so different from each because even though they think the same thoughts, they think of them in a different way. My girl is who I have always been. The part of me whom I am most familiar with. As for my woman, she is who I have grown to be. My girl gave me the gift of my woman and now it's almost as if they live inside me cohesively.
So here's how this works: Woman only comes out at late nights. Very late nights, around 11:30 p.m.-3:00 a.m. She is also there in the early morning, 5:00 a.m.-7:30 Then she comes out again around noon. 12:00-3:00 p.m. These are usually the times where I am doing a lot of thinking, or work so I need myself (woman) to be strong for me.
As for girl: she gets the rest of the day. She helps me relax and forget about the unimportant details. She reminds me not to worry so much. So she is mostly active in the afternoon and early night. She is my energetic peaceful state.
It's like they are working shifts. I hope someday I can find a happy medium. Mix them together someday to form a true version of me. But to be honest, I could not be more true to myself as I am today. I know who I am and who I am is a woman. My woman is taking over a little more each day. My girl will still always be inside me, and she comes out at her regular work times, It's just that now that I'm older, I know what I want and I'm all finished being naive about things.
So that is me. I am a woman. There is really nothing else I can say after that statement, since it is so powerful and means so many things. It's hard to explain. But I just realized it this year. That I have become a full-grown woman, no matter my age. I've never been so sure about anything else in my life. My girl will always a huge part of me, but it is my woman who cradles my girl while she is asleep, and whatches over her while she is at play.Does that make sense?
Well, if not, too bad. 'Cause I do.
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