Saturday, April 30, 2011

Us

Us by Regina Spektor, dedicated to Avi, my best friend. So far the only boy I've ever loved.

They made a statue of us
And it put it on a mountain top
Now tourists come and stare at us
Blow bubbles with their gum
Take photographs have fun, have fun

They'll name a city after us
And later say it's all our fault
Then they'll give us a talking to
Then they'll give us a talking to
Because they've got years of experience
We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
We're living in a den of thieves
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

We wear our scarves just like a noose
But not 'cause we want eternal sleep
And though our parts are slightly used
New ones are slave labor you can keep

We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
We're living in a den of thieves
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious

They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
The tourists come and stare at us
The sculptor's marble sends regards
They made a statue of us
They made a statue of us
Our noses have begun to rust
We're living in a den of thieves
Rummaging for answers in the pages
Were living in a den of thieves

And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious
And it's contagious




Sunday, April 24, 2011

Sometimes, I think in Lists.

Things I like:

1. Hip hop dance
2. Lamb
3. Dancing in general
4. Boys
5. Chocolate
6. Horror movies
7. Shoes
8. Not wearing any shoes
9. My Orchestra
10. My freedom

Things I don't Like:

1. Not taking hip hop classes
2. The lack of cars in this family
3. School (at the moment)
4. Boys
5. Mean people
6. Eating too much pizza
7. Writer's block
8. Not having a job
9. Missing my best friend(s)
10. Getting yelled at

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

My alter egos

No one knows this, but sometimes I think that there's two people inside of me. Both named Maddie, except one's slightly different than the other. The funny thing is they switch on and off at different times. But it's always consistent. Like, everyday pretty much.

First, there is my girl. She is called my "Girl" because I believe she is the real me. She is blissfully naive and lives for for freedom. Freedom from all her cares. My girl is always happy all the time, no matter what. And even in times of desperation, she holds her head up high and thinks positive thoughts. She is often shy, but once she is spoken to, there is no turning back!

The other half of me is my woman. She is called my "Woman" because I also believe she is the real me. She is a deep thinker, A focused, content, strong person. She is incredibly generous and she never holds back. She never complains and has a high threshold for pain and suffering because she's been there before. My woman is mature. She knows EXACTLY what she wants. My woman speaks her mind, no matter what the content, and absolutely under no circumstances does she care what other people think about her.

My woman and my girl are so different from each because even though they think the same thoughts, they think of them in a different way. My girl is who I have always been. The part of me whom I am most familiar with. As for my woman, she is who I have grown to be. My girl gave me the gift of my woman and now it's almost as if they live inside me cohesively.

So here's how this works: Woman only comes out at late nights. Very late nights, around 11:30 p.m.-3:00 a.m. She is also there in the early morning, 5:00 a.m.-7:30 Then she comes out again around noon. 12:00-3:00 p.m. These are usually the times where I am doing a lot of thinking, or work so I need myself (woman) to be strong for me.

As for girl: she gets the rest of the day. She helps me relax and forget about the unimportant details. She reminds me not to worry so much. So she is mostly active in the afternoon and early night. She is my energetic peaceful state.

It's like they are working shifts. I hope someday I can find a happy medium. Mix them together someday to form a true version of me. But to be honest, I could not be more true to myself as I am today. I know who I am and who I am is a woman. My woman is taking over a little more each day. My girl will still always be inside me, and she comes out at her regular work times, It's just that now that I'm older, I know what I want and I'm all finished being naive about things.

So that is me. I am a woman. There is really nothing else I can say after that statement, since it is so powerful and means so many things. It's hard to explain. But I just realized it this year. That I have become a full-grown woman, no matter my age. I've never been so sure about anything else in my life. My girl will always a huge part of me, but it is my woman who cradles my girl while she is asleep, and whatches over her while she is at play.Does that make sense?

Well, if not, too bad. 'Cause I do.


Monday, April 18, 2011

I'm Ready

I love this show. But after it's over I will still be so very stoked because of all the new things I plan to do. I am going to Orlando next month wiff mah orchestra (imma cellist) and after school ends, I'm getting a job and starting West Side Story. I didn't get into the summer residential gov. school program at Radford which means I get the chance to be a lead!!!

It's almost summer and I can't even begin to describe how OVER IT I am. I mean, I love school, It's just that I need it to be over. I don't understand it when people say they hate school. We are so lucky to get a decent education at such a brilliant high school so why yoo hatin' yo? So dumb. For real.

ANYWAYS----Summer better be startin' soon. I'm looking to get inspired, have another summer romance, get back into b-boy dancing, and much much more. I control this destiny. My senior year of high school is oh so very eminent. everything will change. There is such a gigantic fire of energy and excitement burning deep in my heart. As an artist, she (my heart) is eternally heartbroken and slowly dying. And she's happily taking down the rest of the world with her. Spreading her word of Love and Art and God, that is <3

In case you don't know...

Epainos means "praise" in Greek. I think that the prettiest of all the Greek words are the ones most used in prayer such as Patéras or Theós (Father and God) People always ask me what part of my ethnic background I feel closest to. Ummm....that answer is Greek. Because I am more Greek than anything else. It makes up a whole 1/4 of me. Therefore, I am close to it. Tomorrow, we are dying eggs for easter. The Greek tradition is to dye your eggs red because it symbolizes the blood of Jesus. Greek people can be so warm because many of them are very close to God. Although I am a non-denominational Christian, I know that the Greek-Orthodox religion is very devoted to tradition. Well, Greeks in general devote their lives to tradition and family.

That's my excuse for everything, acccording to many of my friends

BornThisWayBaby <3

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Judas lyrics

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GaGa
Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GaGa

[Verse 1]
When he comes to me, I am ready
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain
Even after three times, he betrays me

I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
A king with no crown, king with no crown

[Chorus]
I'm just a horny fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a horny fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GaGa

[Verse 2]
I couldn't love a man so purely
Even darkness forgave his crooked way
I've learned love is like a brick, you can
Build a house or sink a dead body
I'll bring him down, bring him down, down
A king with no crown, king with no crown


[Chorus]
I'm just a horny fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a horny fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

EW

[Bridge]
In the most Biblical sense,
I am beyond repentance
Fame hooker, prostitute wench, vomits her mind
But in the cultural sense
I just speak in future tense
Judas kiss me if offensed,
Or wear ear condom next time

I wanna love you,
But something's pulling me away from you
Jesus is my virtue,
Judas is the demon I cling to
I cling to

[Chorus]
I'm just a horny fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby
I'm just a horny fool, oh baby he's so cruel
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Oh-oh-oh-ohoo
I'm in love with Juda-as, Juda-as

Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GAGA
Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas Juda-a-a, Judas GAGA

Palm Sunday

καλημέρα

Today is Palm Sunday. And it is GORGEOUS outside. I guess you could say it's sort of a re-birthing because last night it rained, hailed, and tornadoed. And this morning, there is not a cloud in the sky and it's warm. I kind of feel bad not going to church. But I need to sleep and God knows that. After all, Jesus was a friend and not a judge. My sleep schedules are so sporadic because I'm always working on different projects that leave me so sleep-deprived. I put my heart and soul into every show I'm in and the best part about it is that I do it for me and for HIM. No one else.

I'm in great need of a shower. My health is always number one. The only thing that truly keeps me healthy is my art. I'll be practicing cello this morning. And this afternoon. And this night.

Today, I plan on doing laundry, cleaning my room, listening to music, playing music, and seeing a movie wiff mah famiree <3

αμήν